Leg Post 41
Leg Post 41 continues Sir Balin and Sir Balan's fight against King Rience in New Wales on Algernon. Sir Balin drew his fabled second sword, the Dolorous Blade, and used it to strike down King Rience in a tremendous implosion of matter. Elsewhere on Algernon, in the Lake District, Sir Galahad, Morta and The Lady of the Rock have arrived at the settlement to claim it as the original territory of The Lady of the Rock. King Lot, however, refuses to acknowledge her rights and a contest is issued. The Lady of the Rock proposes a rock off and she vies for rock dominance against King Uriens as they both play popular rock tracks to outdo each other. Though the Lady of the Rock wins, King Lot refuses still and wants a real knightly challenge and thus he jousts with Sir Galahad. The result is in favour of Galahad but the contest costs the king his life, much to the sorrow of his confused wife, Queen Morgause. Post Space Camelot The Dolorous Stroke Location: Algernon | New Wales Characters: Sir Balin | Sir Balan | King Rience Sir Balin drew the sword from his back and hacked his way through the soldiers. They were all lightly armoured so his regular sword was able to cut them down with fast, simple strokes. His brother, Sir Balan, used his spear to jab through enemies, kicking them free of his weapon with each fearsome thrust. Together they made short work of the guardsmen that blocked access to the building and Sir Balan, slightly more muscular of the two, barged the door down. Once inside the house they found King Rience already poised for battle. He stood with a greatsword in his two hands, heaved up by his great mass. Sir Balin dove across the table but he was instantly rebuked and sent flying back by a twang of the greatsword against his sturdy armour. Sir Balan threw his spear but it missed by an inch and slammed into the wall behind the king. King Rience: "So Arthur proves himself of little worth, sending unworthy knights to do his dirty work." Sir Balin: "We are sent by no one. We gladly take on the quest of your demise!" Sir Balan: "Especially after you tried to kill Sir Muffinpie!" Silence echoed through the room. Sir Balan: "What?" Sir Balin: "Not the best line I've ever heard, brother..." King Rience: "Now, what will you dogs do?" Sir Balin: "It has been many years since I drew this blade..." Sir Balin placed his hand upon the hilt of his second sword - the sword for which he was known as The Knight of Two Swords. As it slid easily from its pouch, it hissed like an angry snake and the air around the blade crackled. Sir Balan: "Crapcakes." Sir Balan ran off. King Rience was stupefied for a moment before his eyes slowly returned to Sir Balin. King Rience: "Come then. You will find me more than a match for your special blade." Sir Balin charged around the table and thrust his standard sword to promote a response. The king proved himself a man of great skill with the sword, but the divine sword, the Dolorous Blade required just a single touch against the person - and that touch came with a single scratch against the king's arm. In an instant there was the sound of something almost quantum as the world around them imploded into the single point where blade met material. Then everything exploded outwards in a great blast radius of white light. The building, the unbuilt castle and the grounds around it were engulfed in a sphere of light. Sir Balan and the settlers watched in awe. When the light faded the lone figure of Sir Balin came scrambling up from the new hole where the castle and Rience had once been. Sir Balan: "Was that really necessary?" Sir Balin: "He was a strong foe!" Sir Balan: "That sword is meant to be used to slay magical beings, not men. You made a massive hole in the floor." Villager: "Our king is dead!?" Sir Balin: "Your true king is Arthur. You owe him homage." The settlers cowed and Balan sighed. Sir Balan: "I don't feel like much of a hero right now." Sir Balin: "Sir Muffinpie is still alive." Sir Balan: "Aha! So he is!! I wonder if we can ride him!" Sir Balan marched on with renewed enthusiasm. Sir Balin glanced back. Quest complete. Location: Algernon | Lake District Characters: Sir Galahad | Lady of the Rock | Morta | King Lot | Queen Morgause In the centre of the Lake District settlement was a circle of people that surrounded the new arrivals; Sir Galahad, The Lady of the Rock and Morta the crone. On the opposite side of the circle was King Lot, his brother King Uriens and Lot's wife, Queen Morgause. Morgause was counting grains of sand on the floor while the two men tried not to notice. King Lot: "What brings a good knight of Camelot to my new lands?" Sir Galahad: "These damsels do. This old lady brought me in search of adventure and this Lady of the Rock granted me her quest." King Lot: "I take it this quest involves me and mine?" Sir Galahad: "Indeed, good king. You have settled land belonging to this lady." King Lot: "Really? I see no settlements, no structures, no flags." Galahad pointed to the tower-rock in the distance. Sir Galahad: "Yonder rock is her home." King Lot: "A rock?" The Lady of the Rock: "A very special rock!" King Lot: "It is not enough. At least not now we have already begun construction." Sir Galahad: "I believe a contest of skill is in order. The victor has their terms granted." King Lot: "Very well. What contest shall it be?" The Lady of the Rock: "A ROCK OFF!!" King Uriens: "Seriously? A rock off?" The Lady of the Rock: "I am The Lady of the Rock!" Sir Galahad: "Yes. That rock. Not The Lady of Rock Music!" Suddenly The Lady of the Rock was holding a five-necked electric guitar and a pick between her lips. Since she towers over everyone else, the guitar is gigantic. Galahad visibly sweatdropped. King Uriens: "Fine! I accept the challenge!" King Lot: "What?" Sir Galahad: "Seriously?" Morta: "I don't understand this contest at all. Are they going to start throwing rocks at each other?" Sir Galahad: "I would comment on how old-fashioned you are, Lady Morta, but rock music hasn't even been invented yet." Morta: "Does that mean I'm pre-emptively old-fashioned?" King Uriens whipped out a white, sparkly guitar like the one used by PrincePrince article, Wikipedia..'' '''King Lot:' "The hell!?" Queen Morgause: "Oooooo! Sparkles!" King Uriens gave his guitar a quick, aggressive strum to ensure it was in good shape. King Uriens: "I am the King of Rock!" Morta: "Why would anyone want to be the lady or king of rocks anyway?" Deep tones then sprang from the Lady's guitar and she opened the rock off with "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction video, YouTube.". The crowd initially stand and stare with a mixture of horror and confusion. But soon enough they're dancing along to the rhythm and chanting along to the chorus with 'I can't get no--!'. She wrapped up with an improvised extra skit at the end and then released her guitar, which hung limp around her shoulders. The Lady of the Rock: "Strong with the rock am I!" King Uriens stroked his chin with his thumb, looking far cooler than he had any right to, before he sprung open his own tune, slow, rhythmic and on a killer beat - Back in BlackAC/DC - Back in Black (Official Video) video, YouTube.. Queen Morgause suddenly burst out into song, screaming the lyrics to pitch perfect harmony, as though they'd been practising this for years. Instead of a microphone she was singing into a little turtle she'd picked up, who was looking bewildered. King Uriens: "Top that, sista!" The Lady of the Rock: "Fine. Let's bring in some help for this." In Galahad's arms appeared a bass guitar and Morta was suddenly on drums. Sir Galahad: "Oh boy..." One of the most iconic tunes of the naughties started with Galahad, somehow, knowing exactly what to play - Seven Nation ArmySeven Nation Army video, YouTube.. The crowd banged their heads in synchronisation. King Uriens: "Tsk, tsk, tsk. Not nearly enough guitar in that one! I think I'm in the lead!" He didn't wait for a reply as he began to open with a guitar riff from one of the most famous guitarists in future history; Sweet Child 'o MineGuns N' Roses - Sweet Child O' Mine (Official Music Video) video, YouTube.. Again, Moraguse was on lyrics and she danced around the open circle, belting out her voice with zero shame. The Lady of the Rock: "You can't win, Uriens! I am too strong in the rock! Rock isn't all about guitars. And I'll prove it! Now to play the ultimate rock track. The very ANTHEM of ROCK! The entire crowd started stomping their feet and clapping their hands as The Lady of Rock finished the set with We Will Rock YouQueen - We Will Rock You (Official Video) video, YouTube.. King Uriens, overcome by the rocking track, fumbled his guitar and plunged to the earth in defeat. King Uriens: "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!" The Lady of Rock: "Another one bites the dust!" Sir Galahad: "You can't play that tune too!" King Lot: "I've had enough of this! No contest will be settled on rock music! We are knights! We should act like it!" He jumped onto his horse and settled his lance into its holder. King Lot: "Galahad!" A horse is granted to Galahad and he, likewise, settled his lance into its holster. The Lady of the Rock: "This isn't fair. I totally won!" Sir Galahad: "I think I'd prefer to win this way. It's cleaner." The Lady of the Rock: "Rock isn't supposed to be clean!" The two men spurred their horses toward each other. One lance struck, one lance missed. King Lot flew from his horse and landed heavily in the earth. Galahad slowed his mount and rose his visor to gaze at his defeated rival. Uriens checked his brother. King Uriens: "He... he is dead." Galahad felt weight on his shoulders. He hadn't wanted the good king dead and death was not necessary for victory. A proud ally of King Arthur was unnecessarily lost this day. He glanced at The Lady of the Rock. Maybe she had been right. Queen Morgause: "NOOOOOOOO!!!!" The queen's screech surprised everyone. She barely registered reality at the best of times, nobody expected her to understand that her husband was dead. She fell to her knees. Queen Morgause: "TOOOOOORTIEEEEE!!!" Morta: "That's a weird nickname. Is it kinky or something?" The queen held up her dead turtle in sorrow. Queen Morgause: "You were too young to die, sweet Tortie! I promise not to sing down the ears of any of your brethren... and why is my carer not getting up?" King Uriens: "He's your husband." Queen Morgause: "Same thing!" She started trying to pull him to his feet in vain. Somehow, this was more saddening to the people than if she had understood. She struggled and pulled and hit him. Then she tried bargaining and promised not to embarrass him at dinner. Queen Morgause: "Why is he ignoring me...? If I say I'm sorry for being difficult will you get up?" The crowd slowly dispersed. The fun was over and the sorrow was too much for them. References External References Category:Post Category:Leg Post